Truth Be Told

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with life at the moment. There are ten dozen things happening at once and they are all new to me. I need to enroll my kids into school in my town now that they are staying with me again, I need to get myself situated for college and my classes start in just over 2 weeks, I am in training for a great new serving job with menu tests that are causing my face to break out from stress and flashcard sessions. We are broke until I start making money with my new job and my phone just decided to stop working properly which means that I can't trust my pandora or my run tracker to do it's job. Explaining why you'll see my last run says I ran 0 miles in 0 minutes. Fantastic. I can't seem to find the time to focus on any one thing so I've given a petty 10% across the board.

Like an addict, I am dealing with an immense amount of change. My head is spinning. So, for those of you interested in tracking my progress, I apologize for my lack of updating this last few days. I have done an every other day run it seems. I decided that come Monday I need to get back to the proper schedule so I can get up my endurance. I need to find a way to make the time for everything
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It's hard to give yourself to anything. To anyone. You really never know if the outcome will be what you had daydreamed about and to cut the bullshit, it rarely is all that you work it up to be in your mind. But, it doesn't make it any less worthwhile. It doesn't make it any less a part of your progress. It doesn't make it any less a part of you. So, the reality behind our decision to dedicate ourselves to something different doesn't have to be perfect... it simply has to be something we can rest our heads on at night.

Recovery is a decision you can rest your head on at night. Guilt free. Recovery can become as contagious as addiction if you give yourself to it. It will not disappoint you. It will not start seeing someone else and begin screening your calls. It will not break your heart. It will become a part of you and you will be that much closer to whole.

If you are reading this and you are fighting a battle with your daydreams... know that I will be running for YOU tonight. Because you are what I am giving myself to right now and you are worth every drop of sweat, ache, and pain. And because I know you are going to do this beside me.

My moms birthday is coming up. On the 17th. Coincidentally, it is also when we are throwing a joint birthday party for both of my sons. It will also be a day that I run with my whole heart. I will run for you and for her on that day. Because I can't give her a gift. Because I can't share the first day of her 51st year of being incredible with her. Because she was too afraid to give herself to recovery and people around her were too afraid to motivate her. August is a sad month.

In other news, the butterfly I posted pictures of is one that I bumped into on my run yesterday morning. Life is beautiful. I complain more than I should and forget too often to mention the butterflies and the honeysuckles and little children and cool breezes.
Life is fucking great when you're actually living it. Seriously!

Can you donate to this cause? C'mon. I have one funder so far. That's sad. If a few people will push a few dollars into this, then a few more will follow and we will end up with a worthy donation in no time. That donation could be the difference between life and death for someone. Contagious.

CLICK HERE & DONATE, BUTTHEAD.  

 In the United States alone an estimated 

20 million people 12 years of age or older use drugs.

Your donation will help at least one of them. It's a start.